Let’s try to end 2017 on a winning note. I promise I won’t pick the Cleveland Browns this time. Here are my five best bets for Week 17 of the NFL season.
It feels like a month ago that I was a cool 5-0 on my best bets. Well, that’s because it was a month ago and I’ve been nothing but 2-3 BS ever since. I’ll do smart things like take the handsome Jimmy Garoppolo’s San Francisco 49ers getting 4.5 points at home versus the Jacksonville Jaguars. Occasionally, I’ll do something risky like pick the Indianapolis Colts for whatever reason, mostly because it’s fun to pick against the elite Joe Flacco.
While those two maneuvers were cool and all, what wasn’t was picking the Cleveland Browns getting 6.5 points versus Mitchell Trubisky and the Chicago Bears. Browns, that was your game to win and you couldn’t do it because you’re the Browns. You know what, I hope the Steelers beat you by three touchdowns so you can go 0-for like the 2008 Detroit Lions.
My hometown Atlanta Falcons looked beyond horrible in The Big Easy versus the arch rival New Orleans Saints. There was a butt pick and more yellow on the field than that Coldplay song. For the overly penalized Falcons, it was all yellow and they couldn’t cover the six-point spread.
Then there’s you, Bills. How dare you give up that badly when you were getting 12.5 points versus the Evil Empire. Even if Kelvin Benjamin did get a touchdown for that catch-like thing he did, you still wouldn’t have covered. I trusted you and now I’m embarrassed. I remember The Music City Miracle, do you? There’s a box of Flutie Flakes in my pantry I’m just to consume once you make the playoffs again. I’m hungry, so do it, Bills!
Unless I do a horrible job, I will finish above .500 in my best bets. That essentially means I’m not a professional better, which I’m not. I just like football and integers are amazing. Odds are two of these five best bets are golden, Ponyboy. Now that’s up to you to decide, so here you go. Here are my five best bets against the spread for Week 17. Lines are by OddsShark.
Arizona Cardinals (+9) at Seattle Seahawks
Though we have gotten conflicting reports on this topic, this could be the last game of the Bruce Arians flip phone Arizona Cardinals. He could retire at the end of the year, or stick around and see what Baker Mayfield becomes as an NFL signal caller. Either way, I love the desert birds getting nine points on the road against the Seattle Seahawks.
Seattle might be playing for a No. 6 seed in the NFC playoff picture, but the Seahawks need the Atlanta Falcons to lose for any of that to happen. Those two games are going on simultaneously, but Seattle’s head may not be in this game entirely. They have way too many injuries to the defense and Earl Thomas really wants to be poached by the Dallas Cowboys this offseason as a free agent.
Seattle is clearly the more talented of these two teams playing at CenturyLink Field on Sunday. However, Arizona is not going to lose potentially Arians’ final game as the Cardinals head coach by a touchdown. If we need a garbage time backdoor cover touchdown by Larry Fitzgerald, then No. 11 is going to get it done, even if Drew Stanton is throwing him the football.
The Seahawks have a playoff spot to play for, but the Cardinals might be playing for something bigger: each other. Seattle has already been in win-now mode for the last few weeks. For Arizona, the Cardinals have nothing left to lose. Take them getting nine points all day and every day. Their brick phones still have 5 percent battery left in them. They have been without a charger for two years.